my fricken saga continues...

Ok, well, guess what- I'm on bedrest. 100% not allowed to be up except to go potty. My back is so screwed up. WTH? Didn't do anything to set it off (normal activities) and its seriously broken. I've been laying in bed for days now- seems like years, but I know it hasn't been that long. I am currently in Vegas- my Mom had come to Cedar- FINALLY- she was healed enough with her eye that she could make the trip and we could scrapbook, then my back goes out. So, my loving husband drove us all to Vegas and turned around to head right back home- so he could work the rest of this week.
They took me to the Emergency Room yesterday (can I just as a side note tell you that the hospital in Cedar is fabulous... we were literally checked into our own little room and seen by a nurse and Dr within 15 minutes of arriving there) anyway, they gave me 2 pain shots in my back, drugged me up, and said give it a few days and I'll probably be fine, but the problem is that we already waited a few days before heading in- so we know I'm not fine. since I can not stand up or walk- I obviously couldn't take care of Ashlyn on my own during the day. Hence, Scott drove us to Vegas so I will have around the clock care to take care of me and the kiddo. I will be getting an MRI and seeing a neuro or orthopedic surgeon as soon as possible this week. My old boss (a chiropractor) has been kept up on my current situation and he suspects there is a small piece of bone that has broken off a disc in my back and is floating around wedging itself up against my spinal cord. What does that mean you ask... well, if correct- it means that I will be so lucky to go in and have back surgery!! YAY! NOT. I'm fricken 27 years old- aren't you usually supposed to be OLD when you need back surgery to walk without a brace or a walker- yes folks, thats right, I have to use a walker- let me remind you that I'm only allowed to be up long enough to go to the bathroom, and I still need a walker.
This is truly a humbling experience... I've had to COMPLETELY give up control of everything- I can not care for myself and I can not care for my child- I kinda feel like I'm a failure, even though I know in my heart- I'm pressing through and dealing with as much pain as I can to feel like normal. I guess I realized how bad this all was when I saw my mom cry when she saw me in pain... Saying goodbye to my husband as I was being rolled into the ER- seeing the scared look on his face, that kinda got me too. (none of us knew that he would be getting me back out in only about an hour at that time). Anyway, I will be babysat by my cousin and sister in law during the day- and my parents at night. Scott will be down to visit me on the weekend/s... for however long I'm not functional- or I am recovered from surgery or whatever ends up happening. Anyway, I'm having a lot of time to reflect on life (while not staring at the ceiling) and I just want to say Thank GOD I have such a supportive family. My husband and My mom are truly my heros- don't think I would make it through a day without either of them.
Isn't it funny how sometimes you take those simple things for granted??? My daughters kisses for my boo-boo... never thought something like that would make me feel so warm inside.
Please continue to pray for me (sorry, I know I ask for that a lot- but, obviously I need it) if we can't get this healed up- I won't be able to have any more babies. that is a really devastating thought at this point. I know Ashlyn will be a good big sister- I need to be able to give her that chance.